Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I forgot to be decisive

Never Done: I let an entire week go by without realizing I was supposed to be practicing the mide (middah) of Decisiveness: When you have made a decision, act without hesitation

I know this is a little bit outside the practice of DOING something new every day, and it's more a recognition that I didn't do something I had set out to do, but I find that one of the things lacking in my Never Done practice is personal accountability for the things I don't do, because I'm always writing about all the things I do do. And to be honest, there are many things I should/could be doing that I am not, because of all the things I am.

In particular, training for the triathlon has been a game changer. It takes a good two hours a day, between the swimming, the running, the biking, the stretching, the showers, the getting of the bike, the laundry, the commute (to the pools) and more of the stretching. I love how much stronger I am getting, and I love that I am training with such diligence, but I do not love that it is now much harder to find time to do something new every day, to see friends, to apply for jobs, to be spontaneously unscheduled, and apparently, to remember that I was supposed to be working on decisiveness.

The thing I love about the way that Mussar frames decisiveness is that it doesn't kick your ass for having a hard time making a decision; it just kicks your ass for dragging your heels and implementing the decisions you worked hard to make. I find this to be profound, and think it honors the different kinds of decision making models -- recognizing that some decisions take a long time time, and some are made in a flash, but if not implemented, all of them lose their meaning.

So as we move on to this coming week's mide of Cleanliness: Let no stain or ugliness on our self/space, I will also practice decisiveness, and work toward the swift implementation of my hard-earned decisions.

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